Let down 

By Jill Riley

It is such a shame when you lose faith in someone you really believe in. Especially in somebody you hoped would change the world; somebody with the potential to really make a difference. The disappointment in them and for you is soul crushing. Such a let down.

Guiltily, I feel this way. A politician that I have, perhaps foolishly, thought had all the potential in the world to be a game changer captured my imagination and hope a long time ago. Had I a chance to meet I am pretty sure I would be all fan girling. “Sign my hat. Sign my shirt. See my banner?!” Anything to get close. Wise, measured, and thoughtful, he has enough silliness and carefree spirit to make him completely human.

At times, from my seat in nose bleed spot section or behind the yellow ropes I have thought the people he chooses to surround himself are not completely great but lets get real. Who is? In spite of that he has risen to significance overcoming obstacle after obstacle. Even a failed marriage and some personal “dalliances” have served to make him more human not more flawed. When we went to war with other nations, even though horrible and regrettable, it was reported that his measured wisdom in leadership was impressive. My younger self had him in more movie star status than politician. As I got older I have seen him as just human, with just a “touch” of super.

Unfortunately, at this point that I am grown up enough to read the news, aggregate the information into a whole picture. I have begun to see the kind of man he really is. The disappointment mixed with anger at being let down by him has tempered my political interests like rain on a great hike or planned picnic. Party ruined.

Who intentionally puts the family of someone they love in danger? Who does that just out of jealousy? Greed? Aspirations? Especially, at least from a news view away when it seems like they have everything they could ever want. Shouldn’t good politicians, hell, good PEOPLE just act humanely? I’m disgusted.

Unfortunately, now he’s dead. Even though in some people’s eyes he “rallied” politically and even personally, I could never see it because I was too far away. Political fans, like all other fans in the world are kept an arms distance away. Family and friends will remember him well and I suppose in ingratiated terms. I thought i would carry my personal disappointment in him to the grave.

And then I read the obituary. “He was a man after God’s own heart.” It is said of him that King David loved God with his whole heart. He repented of his ways. He learned and worked through his very human struggles and is remembered for doing what was right in the eyes of God, right for his family and right for his nation.

Yesterday, I sat thinking about our political climate. There will always be corruption in politics because the enterprise is stained with greed and personal satisfaction. The institution can never be pure. It wasn’t in David’s day and it wont be in ours. However, the individuals, the politicians and all the players can be. Grace teaches us that each of us, every person, can be made whole and right in the eyes of the Savior. So, I will pray with confidence and great hope that Hill, Bill, Obama, Michelle, Trump and Milanya, and the rest of the current cast will not only find that grace but also have the strength to find how small, yet vitally important they are to a God who loves them. May they find strength to follow that God so that my children and grandchildren will someday find an epitaph of them that is etched with great character and faith worthy of emulating. May they find heros of faith in today’s politicians.

Its not impossible.

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